08.20.09
8-20-09 Leadership Principles in Parenting
This past Monday my oldest daughter Jenna started 1st grade–the drama bigger than any soap opera! Stomach in knots, she couldn’t eat breakfast, complete fear had gripped my dear daughter. Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of something new, different and unpredictable.
Well as a father my heart was breaking and my wife was doing all that was possible just to try and get her clothes on her. Up against the clock and filled with compassion, I began to break down the situation and help her look at it one day at a time.
“Jenna, honey, let’s not worry about the classroom, lets just get dressed…and so on”. Eventually we were on our way walking to the school and things seemed ok until we were right outside the classroom. Heals dug in and little arms clinging to my large thighs with the strength of deeply rooted tree–she was not going to budge. Thankful after a few minutes, Jenna’s new teacher came over and tore her off of me. I left with a crushed heart as I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs, “Daddy, don’t leave me”.
After work I came home wondering how the day had gone and was immediately ambushed at the door with “Daddy, I love first grade! I love first grade.” Thanks to an empathetic teacher, a little green froggy (I’ll save that for another post), and the company of some “old” friends from Kindergarden, Jenna had a great experience. We celebrated that night with daddy cooking her meal of choice.
Some might consider this recent experience as a tragic tale of leadership but let me explain the things that I took away from it that have helped me become a better leader.
1. Being compassionate and empathetic gives you a perspective that can help you move people in a healthy direction. Now, I am not one for having much patience for people’s excuses but it is important that I understand the life circumstances of those I am to lead. If I understand where they are, I have a greater chance of being able to speak to them in a way that they will hear and respond to.
2. When someone is overwhelmed looking at the big picture, break it down with them into manageable pieces. Jenna was paralyzed by the magnitude of EVERYTHING that she perceived and feared about being a first grader. Helping her focus on one thing at a time was key into helping her succeed.
3. Don’t be afraid to get some other expertise to help. I work as a Youth Development Specialist and Trainer but most of my professional experience has been with working with Middle School and High School age youth. As a matter of fact Jenna is the vast amount of my experience with a 6 year old. So when we got into her classroom, I enrolled the assistance of the real professional for 6 year olds, her teacher (Jenna’s 1st grade teacher rocks!!!).
4. Celebrate success. It is important to make a big deal about success. When the people we lead try something new, overcome some fear or obstacle or “get caught doing something good”, it is important to celebrate their success with the team. I guarentee that they will be repeat offenders 
